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It's a job

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rondetto On about 22 hours ago




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! May 07, 2016 @ 09:03:11
An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and defecated by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?"
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#2New Post! May 09, 2016 @ 01:11:13
Thanks for the laugh!

URINE = n. and v. a statement declaring the predicament of another.

"I hate to say it, but if you need to go potty, bud, urine big trouble."


@rondetto Said

An Italian man wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Italian says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says the Italian.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree.

"Ere you go."

The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99."

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question.
Same rules again, but represent the number 100."

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred."

The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"

The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dog came along and defecated by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hundred. So, when I start?"
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#3New Post! May 09, 2016 @ 01:14:04
We've had clouds overhead all day, and it looks like they could turn terrain any moment now, which will ruin the ballgame.
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#4New Post! May 09, 2016 @ 01:37:50
TERRIFY: v. and conj. to rip apart as a result of certain actions one might take.

My skirt's so tight, I'm scared it'll terrify bend over.
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#5New Post! May 09, 2016 @ 01:54:57
If practice makes perfect, and no one's perfect, what's the point of practice?
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#6New Post! May 09, 2016 @ 01:55:45
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

He had nobody to go with!
DuLu On January 11, 2017
CHOOSE HAPPINESS!!!





Waverly, Washington
#7New Post! May 09, 2016 @ 02:04:27
Why do giraffes have long necks?

Because they have smelly feet.
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