The Forum Site - Join the conversation
Forums: Science:
Psychology

NLP, Screening and Manipulation

Reply to Topic
AuthorMessage
Hypnotica On October 08, 2023

Banned



Steel City (Sheffield), United
#1New Post! Aug 15, 2015 @ 20:12:15
OK folks, quick question.

First of all a bit of background: I was having a chat with one of the girls at work today because she had split up with her Boyfriend and boo hoo, blah blah blah I thought it was the one. Just to clarify I practiced empathy (emotinal intelligence: good read). I wasnt as cold hearted as I appear here, but I have heard this many times and read it many times. Its just yeah I got it, you were emotionally attached.

Anyway, I asked her what it was she saw in him and why it didnt work out. Basically they had different life styles, she was a go getter and he was for want of a better word a lazy slob. And based on what she was saying about him and what I know of her, he was punching above his weight.

I then asked if this was a common occcurence. She said yeah. I then asked if she did any sort of screening. She seemed puzzled, so I was like, well forget shallow interests, how do you find out what makes the person tick. And she said she gives them time and gets to know them.

I basically suggested NLP Elicition of Values. Basically asking questions to find out what makes a person tick. Basically finding out their goals in life and what their main focus is. Ok I did learn this due to heavy involvement in the seduction community. But regardless, as far as I am concerned, this is what matters. If your main goal in life is having fun, then sirely you want someone with a similar goals.

I mentioned a method of doing this. Im not posting that here, as it can be used for ulterior means. She seemed both fascinated and horrified. I then ran it on her and she again ssemed fascinated and horrified that I could find out more about her than her BF ever did in a couple of questions.

So anyway she then said that this is manipulative. Well no, to me it isnt.

So anyway the question, screening people so you can get a feel for what they are about, other than shallow surface level crap. Is it manipulative or not? I believe that in this context it isnt but someone who overheard booted in and said otherwise.

PS: I in no way shape or form claim to be an NLP practicioner. I have studied the topic but not done any official recognition.

Thoughts please.
chaski On about 17 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#2New Post! Aug 15, 2015 @ 20:39:13
@Hypnotica Said

OK folks, quick question.

First of all a bit of background: I was having a chat with one of the girls at work today because she had split up with her Boyfriend and boo hoo, blah blah blah I thought it was the one. Just to clarify I practiced empathy (emotinal intelligence: good read). I wasnt as cold hearted as I appear here, but I have heard this many times and read it many times. Its just yeah I got it, you were emotionally attached.

Anyway, I asked her what it was she saw in him and why it didnt work out. Basically they had different life styles, she was a go getter and he was for want of a better word a lazy slob. And based on what she was saying about him and what I know of her, he was punching above his weight.

I then asked if this was a common occcurence. She said yeah. I then asked if she did any sort of screening. She seemed puzzled, so I was like, well forget shallow interests, how do you find out what makes the person tick. And she said she gives them time and gets to know them.

I basically suggested NLP Elicition of Values. Basically asking questions to find out what makes a person tick. Basically finding out their goals in life and what their main focus is. Ok I did learn this due to heavy involvement in the seduction community. But regardless, as far as I am concerned, this is what matters. If your main goal in life is having fun, then sirely you want someone with a similar goals.

I mentioned a method of doing this. Im not posting that here, as it can be used for ulterior means. She seemed both fascinated and horrified. I then ran it on her and she again ssemed fascinated and horrified that I could find out more about her than her BF ever did in a couple of questions.

So anyway she then said that this is manipulative. Well no, to me it isnt.

So anyway the question, screening people so you can get a feel for what they are about, other than shallow surface level crap. Is it manipulative or not? I believe that in this context it isnt but someone who overheard booted in and said otherwise.

PS: I in no way shape or form claim to be an NLP practicioner. I have studied the topic but not done any official recognition.

Thoughts please.



Not sure I totally understand your question, but here goes...

Do opposites attract... yes. It is not uncommon for one person to be attracted to another's differences...sometimes to correct the flaws, other times to vicariously live the "bad" or "good" life, or... etc.

Should a person spend some time and really assess whether or not another person is truly comparable for a serious long term relationship... yes.

Should a lay person psycho analyze another person....absolutely not. If you don't have training and experience in using psychological assessment techniques you are libel to hurt yourself and those around you (I once knew a woman who ran around doing this... she was a very sad and lonely person).
Stonowsky On January 29, 2016




Belmont, North Carolina
#3New Post! Sep 19, 2015 @ 04:00:13
If someone is willing and ya'll are conversing then what is wrong with that? Manipulating is like putty in a manipulating hand and you weren't persuading or dissuading, but professionals and teaching backgrounds give feedback and present , so what I mean is she was the one that brought the word manipulating into it so she might expect something more from someone higher up, ya'll were at work. Hope this helps
alk1975 On August 11, 2016




Jackson, Missouri
#4New Post! Oct 10, 2015 @ 01:08:02
Gathering information is not manipulation. As a person is getting into a relationship, or considering getting more serious in a relationship, gathering information makes sense. Why would you not do it?

What you do with the information can be manipulative. Trying to hide in any way that you are gathering information is deceptive.

So I guess my answer is "it depends"
Reply to Topic<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >>

1 browsing (0 members - 1 guest)

Quick Reply
Be Respectful of Others

      
Subscribe to topic prefs

Similar Topics
    Forum Topic Last Post Replies Views
New posts   Conspiracies
Tue Nov 11, 2008 @ 22:45
13 1325
New posts   Relationships
Mon Dec 29, 2008 @ 21:25
9 863
New posts   Random
Sun Jul 05, 2015 @ 19:13
7 288
New posts   Site Support
Mon Aug 16, 2010 @ 08:58
7 936
New posts   Site Support
Mon Apr 17, 2006 @ 12:21
13 1218