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twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#46New Post! Sep 03, 2015 @ 00:22:13


is how this child is enjoying her or his ( I can't tell if a little girl or little boy . I was told I was cutie, when that at age. you wouldn't know that by my parents. it is true. my sisters and a brother would tell the same thing. my father had family pictures in his wallet and my mother had family photos in her purse. not of me,nor my sisters, or my brother,but someone's else family. my parents told us, the photos of a family came with the wallet and purse, when they purchased. my parents like bragged about these photos, why they didn't keep photos of us in their wallet and purse. ) eat his or her ice cream. scientists is warning especially little children. a report released Thursday by the Environmental Protection Agency revealed that global climate change will force humans to double the speed of their ice cream consumption by the year 2050. what that mean kids eat ice cream faster, shove and licking the cone faster. damn it!!


the author of this article explain Should greenhouse gas emissions rise according to our current forecasts, the entire global population will need to adapt their ice cream eating habits to the resultant higher temperatures, or risk exposing themselves to sticky hands, faces, and clothing as scoops begin dripping with unprecedented quickness,” said the report’s lead author Amy Ellison, explaining that, within a single generation, humans will have no choice but to eschew any sort of cone and instead opt for a cup and spoon to better contain the faster-melting treat. “Unless we take the necessary steps to reduce CO2 emissions on a global scale, our fate is sealed: ice cream will have to be eaten hastily and hurriedly before it becomes a goopy mess. Our grandchildren might never know what it’s like to truly savor their sundaes.”

the study conclusion The study predicted dire consequences for humanity as a result of doubling its ice cream consumption speeds, including higher incidences of indigestion and devastating ice cream headaches that could ravage the entire global populace.

you see the photo above, in the future, kids get those ice cream headaches too bad eating ice cream to fast. too bad soldier! just finish that ice cone now. damn it!! kid,why are you look at me that, eat that cone now, faster,faster, faster!!



Report: Climate Change To Force People To Double Ice Cream Consumption Speed By 2050

NEWS IN BRIEF
September 1, 2015

WASHINGTON—Emphasizing that these projections necessitate immediate action, a report released Thursday by the Environmental Protection Agency revealed that global climate change will force humans to double the speed of their ice cream consumption by the year 2050. “Should greenhouse gas emissions rise according to our current forecasts, the entire global population will need to adapt their ice cream eating habits to the resultant higher temperatures, or risk exposing themselves to sticky hands, faces, and clothing as scoops begin dripping with unprecedented quickness,” said the report’s lead author Amy Ellison, explaining that, within a single generation, humans will have no choice but to eschew any sort of cone and instead opt for a cup and spoon to better contain the faster-melting treat. “Unless we take the necessary steps to reduce CO2 emissions on a global scale, our fate is sealed: ice cream will have to be eaten hastily and hurriedly before it becomes a goopy mess. Our grandchildren might never know what it’s like to truly savor their sundaes.” The study predicted dire consequences for humanity as a result of doubling its ice cream consumption speeds, including higher incidences of indigestion and devastating ice cream headaches that could ravage the entire global populace.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#47New Post! Sep 13, 2015 @ 01:38:26
if you decide or you worked home contractors in the past. here is a study about home contractors.

WASHINGTON—A new study commissioned by the National Association of Home Builders revealed Friday that 74 percent of home contractors end up accidentally walling themselves in when constructing or renovating a residence. talking about have a dead animal between your home walls. you know a dead body take longer to smell, especially, the body took a shower before he came to work. at least, a couple of hours, maybe if you have air conditioners is on.

in 1995, a rough 3 out of 4 cases shows workers inadvertently erected drywall or laid bricks and mortar around their bodies, trapping themselves inside the barrier where they remained until someone heard their desperate cries for help,” said lead researcher Mark Vander, adding that, on average, there is a minimum of three contractors stuck inside any given newly constructed home. “ PEU!!

obviously, the average home contractors are not that bright. they never hear put a back door in a wall. Without any doorways or other exits, the contractors roam inside the walls frantically searching for an escape, sometimes for up to several weeks or months. talking someone want to be stinker!

The study also found that entire construction crews are often trapped on the top floors of skyscrapers because they forgot to build stairs. in conclusion, if you go in a new building. and you enter a elevator, you smell something really stink. it ain't bad air from the vents, you are smelling.


Study: 74% Of Home Contractors End Up Accidentally Walling Themselves In During Housing Construction

NEWS IN BRIEF
September 11, 2015





WASHINGTON—A new study commissioned by the National Association of Home Builders revealed Friday that 74 percent of home contractors end up accidentally walling themselves in when constructing or renovating a residence. “A review of home construction projects since 1995 shows that in roughly three of every four cases, workers inadvertently erected drywall or laid bricks and mortar around their bodies, trapping themselves inside the barrier where they remained until someone heard their desperate cries for help,” said lead researcher Mark Vander, adding that, on average, there is a minimum of three contractors stuck inside any given newly constructed home. “During the building phase, many workers accidentally put the last piece of Sheetrock into place before realizing that they’ve made a huge mistake and didn’t provide themselves with a way out. Without any doorways or other exits, the contractors roam inside the walls frantically searching for an escape, sometimes for up to several weeks or months.” The study also found that entire construction crews are often trapped on the top floors of skyscrapers because they forgot to build stairs.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#48New Post! Sep 13, 2015 @ 02:55:45
everybody know the five continents were once a whole continent. then eventually, separate into five continents, that we know now. it was once called ' Pangaea '.

a newly discover evidence that during Pangaea era, something else happen that anthropologists never knew happen.

STATE COLLEGE, PA—Offering insight into our planet’s ecological past, a study released Tuesday by researchers at Penn State University found that Earth’s animals were once a single giant creature before breaking apart roughly 175 million years ago.



After reviewing extensive fossil records, we determined that a massive ‘super-animal’ once roamed the planet, but began to fracture at some point during the Mesozoic era into separate life forms,” said lead researcher Gary Albright, noting that if one looks at certain species closely.

here is the description of this amazing animal. it’s possible to see how, for example, the giraffe’s neck fits together with the hippopotamus’s underbelly, or the dolphin’s tail forms a perfect contour with the stingray’s back. “We believe this process started when tiny fissures began to form within the single mega-animal, leading to creatures breaking off and drifting away as smaller birds, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and fish.” In a continuation of this process, Albright stated that over the next million years, internal rifting is projected to cleave the platypus into a species of duck and a fairly large rodent.

I realizes with this internal rifting is projected to cleave the platypus into a species of duck and a fairly large rodent. it good that this animal was separate. do you that the republicans before the symbol of elephant to represent them. republicans had choice between platypus and a duck, it doesn't fit the bill with them. republicans had to choose the elephant, because the rat was too close to home.


Study Finds Earth’s Animals One Giant Creature Before Breaking Apart Millions Of Years Ago

NEWS IN BRIEF
September 9, 2015


STATE COLLEGE, PA—Offering insight into our planet’s ecological past, a study released Tuesday by researchers at Penn State University found that Earth’s animals were once a single giant creature before breaking apart roughly 175 million years ago. “After reviewing extensive fossil records, we determined that a massive ‘super-animal’ once roamed the planet, but began to fracture at some point during the Mesozoic era into separate life forms,” said lead researcher Gary Albright, noting that if one looks at certain species closely, it’s possible to see how, for example, the giraffe’s neck fits together with the hippopotamus’s underbelly, or the dolphin’s tail forms a perfect contour with the stingray’s back. “We believe this process started when tiny fissures began to form within the single mega-animal, leading to creatures breaking off and drifting away as smaller birds, mammals, amphibians, reptiles, and fish.” In a continuation of this process, Albright stated that over the next million years, internal rifting is projected to cleave the platypus into a species of duck and a fairly large rodent.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#49New Post! Sep 13, 2015 @ 18:46:18
here is a romantic story about a man named alex ramsey, he want give his current girlfriend to a romantic gesture, a trip to paris. I take my current girlfriend to McDonald all time or if she is good, I can find hot dog stand vendor. she have the works on her hot dog. alex's girlfriend named is sarah. alex has a problem . and he explains, “I can’t wait to finally surprise someone special with a trip to Paris, but I just don’t think Sarah’s the one I should be spending that much money on,” said Ramsey. I know what alex mean, I was going to take my girlfriend to paris. she out of luck. I would give her a postcard of the eiffel tower. then tell how her, ' honey, you like paris so far? '

alex is reflecting of his decision. noting that the cost—not only of airfare but also dinner at a Michelin-rated restaurant and a private chartered boat ride on the Seine—meant that he had to be very selective in choosing his companion. I could understand that alex has his doubts about his relationship, alex feels, “I like Sarah a lot, but I might only be able to afford a lavish trip like this once in my lifetime. And, frankly, I’m not sure I want to run up my credit card bill for someone who isn’t absolutely perfect.” my girlfriend don't feel that about her, I am lucky to have her. and she know. alex's last thoughts, Ramsey went on to say, however, that he might be willing to make the trip with his current girlfriend if she agreed to go dutch. I wish my girl friend load with bucks, but she love me soo much. we don't go dutch, she paid for everything. she really keeper!


Romantic Gesture Too Expensive To Waste On Current Girlfriend

NEWS IN BRIEF
September 9, 2015

HARRISBURG, PA—Claiming that the price of the incredible idea far exceeded his emotional investment in his relationship, local man Alex Ramsey said Wednesday that an extravagant romantic gesture he has in mind is too expensive to waste on his current girlfriend. “I can’t wait to finally surprise someone special with a trip to Paris, but I just don’t think Sarah’s the one I should be spending that much money on,” said Ramsey, noting that the cost—not only of airfare but also dinner at a Michelin-rated restaurant and a private chartered boat ride on the Seine—meant that he had to be very selective in choosing his companion. “I like Sarah a lot, but I might only be able to afford a lavish trip like this once in my lifetime. And, frankly, I’m not sure I want to run up my credit card bill for someone who isn’t absolutely perfect.” Ramsey went on to say, however, that he might be willing to make the trip with his current girlfriend if she agreed to go dutch.


twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#50New Post! Sep 14, 2015 @ 00:06:05
ALMOLOYA DE JUAREZ, MEXICO—Following the drug kingpin’s recent escape from the maximum security facility, Arturo Terrazas, warden of the Altiplano prison in central Mexico, vowed Monday to take away Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman’s tunnel privileges if he is captured. I think the warden of the prison is he a little too late for that. look below:




my gramdpa get out the tunnel in his walker doing 10 mph with this warden in charge. the warden is try tell the public, his prison is escapeproof. yeah, for my grandpa, who been dead since 1991. Here at Altiplano, prisoners must earn their access to any of our mile-long electrically lit and ventilated subterranean passageways, and I can assure you that Mr. Guzman will be forfeiting this right once he is taken into custody and reincarcerated,” Terrazas told reporters, adding that Guzman will also be expressly prohibited from renting out any power tools or dollies from the prison workshop as part of the additional punitive measures he will face if he is apprehended. so guzman use his own ' home depot ' credit card, instead.

here is more bs from the warden, “Mr. Guzman will need to establish a long track record of good behavior before we even consider reinstating his daily visits to the tunnel system that connects the prison grounds with various homes surrounding the complex." that will solve the problem, right. hey warden, why you give the key to the front gate, or put some evening lights in the tunnel. so this guy can be there at night, as well as, day. duh!

so barney fife ( the warden ) believe that, of course, even then we will restrict him to 60-minute sessions conducted after the rest of our resident population has finished using the underground corridors themselves.” Terrazas concluded that, while Guzman must be disciplined, he believes it would be inhumane to also deprive the cartel leader of his ventilation duct hours. I heard the warden took away his privileges to watch hbo, he has watching the Disney channel and metv channel for 24 hours daily, he will be watch. I think nice of them, do you?


Prison Warden Vows To Take Away El Chapo’s Tunnel Privileges If Captured

NEWS IN BRIEF
July 13, 2015

ALMOLOYA DE JUAREZ, MEXICO—Following the drug kingpin’s recent escape from the maximum security facility, Arturo Terrazas, warden of the Altiplano prison in central Mexico, vowed Monday to take away Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman’s tunnel privileges if he is captured. “Here at Altiplano, prisoners must earn their access to any of our mile-long electrically lit and ventilated subterranean passageways, and I can assure you that Mr. Guzman will be forfeiting this right once he is taken into custody and reincarcerated,” Terrazas told reporters, adding that Guzman will also be expressly prohibited from renting out any power tools or dollies from the prison workshop as part of the additional punitive measures he will face if he is apprehended. “Mr. Guzman will need to establish a long track record of good behavior before we even consider reinstating his daily visits to the tunnel system that connects the prison grounds with various homes surrounding the complex. Of course, even then we will restrict him to 60-minute sessions conducted after the rest of our resident population has finished using the underground corridors themselves.” Terrazas concluded that, while Guzman must be disciplined, he believes it would be inhumane to also deprive the cartel leader of his ventilation duct hours
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#51New Post! Sep 17, 2015 @ 03:23:52



stroffers is coming out with condolence dinner meals. this dinner meals, when you are in mourning, you don't want to cook for your family. if you aren't hungry, why should you feed your family? when you in mourn. you know the motto - one who mourns - love company.

representatives from Stouffer’s unveiled Wednesday their new line of Frozen Bereavement Meals ( above ) for bringing over to neighbors who have just lost a loved one. the idea is you don't want to disturb the grieving family at their darkest hour.

you as a neighbor, you will take over a box of frozen bereavement meal for tell how sorry for the loss. you will the meal in microwave and cook it. you will simply have ready for the family to eat to serve right then now. company spokeswoman Erin Carson said adding that the meals come in two convenient sizes to suit any mourner: an individual portion for a single widow or widower, and a family-size option for bereaved households of four or more. let see pizza hut come out with this idea with their pizzas.

“Our new line of sympathy dinners features eight comforting and mouthwatering meal options, from flavorful meatloaf to hearty lasagna. Consoling devastated friends and neighbors has never been more quick and convenient.”

Carson added that the back of each box contains a cut-out condolence card, allowing consumers to pay their respects along with the meal.

I am the kind of a sap that would take over a bunch of flowers or a pizza from pizza hut. what kind of neighbor would I be, when I died my neighbors should give my family, a box of twinkies.



Stouffer’s Debuts New Frozen Meals To Bring Neighbors After Death In Family


NEWS IN BRIEF
September 16, 2015

Vol 51 Issue 37
Food · Death · Lifestyle






GLENDALE, CA—Saying the dishes were the perfect way to express compassion to those going through one of the darkest times of their life, representatives from Stouffer’s unveiled Wednesday their new line of Frozen Bereavement Meals for bringing over to neighbors who have just lost a loved one. “When tragedy strikes someone we care about, we all want to reach out and offer our assistance, and with Stouffer’s new Frozen Bereavement Meals, you can take a turkey casserole out of your freezer, pop it in the microwave, and be over on your grieving neighbor’s doorstep in less than 10 minutes,” said company spokeswoman Erin Carson, adding that the meals come in two convenient sizes to suit any mourner: an individual portion for a single widow or widower, and a family-size option for bereaved households of four or more. “Our new line of sympathy dinners features eight comforting and mouthwatering meal options, from flavorful meatloaf to hearty lasagna. Consoling devastated friends and neighbors has never been more quick and convenient.” Carson added that the back of each box contains a cut-out condolence card, allowing consumers to pay their respects along with the meal.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#52New Post! Sep 18, 2015 @ 02:49:24
I have good news and bad news, Donald trump said this:

When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years

that was the good news, the bad news is ' the onion website ' wrote this article in 2013. damn, you woodpecker, could you die soon!







here how woody said ( I mean Donald ):

My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple tip that’s guaranteed to pick you up and get you back in good spirits in no time, and here it is: Whenever you’re feeling low, just remember that I, Donald Trump, will be dead in roughly 15 to 20 years.

That’s right. In the not-very-distant future I will die and then be gone from the world for all eternity. You may even get to watch me in a casket on national television being lowered into the ground, never to be seen again. I bet you’re smiling just thinking about that.

I am depress now, I just remember this article written two years. I used like watching woody woodpecker cartoons, when I was a kid.

woody continues:

Now, I recognize that the news out there in the world has been particularly depressing lately, and these days it’s understandable that one might begin to feel like there’s no hope and no reason to go on, but let me assure you that there is. Oh, boy, is there ever! Indeed, you can always take solace in the fact that the monstrous, unimaginable piece of s*** that is me will stop existing fairly soon, and that I will continue to not exist for the remainder of your lifetime. Biologically speaking, I, the host of NBC’s The Apprentice and Celebrity Apprentice, have no more than two decades left to live. In fact, right now I’m just 10 years away from reaching the average lifespan of an American male.

How does that make you feel? Pretty good, right?

I need to take a dump, right now!

Sure, I’ll have a grand, opulent funeral that will be talked about and broadcast extensively, and all the news segment retrospectives on my life will probably be obnoxious to watch and listen to, and will very likely make you angry. But just think: all of those segments will end with a picture of my blustery, self-important face and the dates 1946–2031 printed beneath it. Or maybe 1946–2032. Or, who knows, maybe earlier! Even if you’re not feeling glum, I guarantee the recognition that my death is a concrete and rapidly approaching inevitability will make you feel even better.

hell, yea! with news like this, I vote republican in 2016.


woody throwing a challenge to Obama now.

And if my death in 15 or 20 years feels like it’s too far in the future to wash away your blues, you can take heart knowing that I’ll start to physically and mentally deteriorate well before then. Why, by 2020, I, a man who recently tried to extort the sitting president of the United States to release his college and passport records, might even begin to show signs of serious and unavoidable decline in mental and physical faculties, and doesn’t that just perk your spirits right up?

woody, not everyone in the world, can hide their birth certificate under real hair.

woody trying to cheer me up!

Heck, that might happen by the end of this decade! Of course there’s an outside chance I could make it another 25 years, but in a way, wouldn’t it be even more uplifting and enjoyable for everyone if I wasted away slowly and pitifully until I became a wizened and impossibly frail old relic—the pathetically impotent, papery husk of a once-powerful man?

that's suppose cheer me. where hell is my gun?

here how they end to this article, really pick me up for us all.

Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s try a surefire pick-me-up that is certain to buoy your spirits right this very moment: let’s think of ways I could die! Perhaps I’ll suffer through a slow, excruciating kidney failure that leaves me in profound pain that the doctors just can’t treat. It could be a massive heart attack while I’m delivering a speech to investors, forcing me to clutch my chest in agony and stagger into the audience. It could be Alzheimer’s. Or I could even be diagnosed with a vicious form of cancer that at first appears to be responding well to chemotherapy but then takes a rapid and inescapable turn for the worse.

And of course there’s always the possibility that I’ll be declared brain-dead after a stroke and lie immobile on a hospital bed for a year or more before Melania finally works up the courage to pull the plug.

And if you need a real shot in the arm to get you laughing and smiling again, just remember that I could trip down a flight of stairs in my own ultra-plush luxury high-rise this very night and shatter my skull right there. Isn’t that great?

So there’s no reason to be wearing a frown, my friend. I will die, and I will die soon. And as long as you remember that, your days will be brighter. I promise.

this article was written two years ago, where are my bullets?



When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years






COMMENTARY
January 23, 2013

Vol 49 Issue 04
Opinion · Our Annual Year 2013 · Donald Trump
















Donald Trump



My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple tip that’s guaranteed to pick you up and get you back in good spirits in no time, and here it is: Whenever you’re feeling low, just remember that I, Donald Trump, will be dead in roughly 15 to 20 years.

That’s right. In the not-very-distant future I will die and then be gone from the world for all eternity. You may even get to watch me in a casket on national television being lowered into the ground, never to be seen again. I bet you’re smiling just thinking about that.

Now, I recognize that the news out there in the world has been particularly depressing lately, and these days it’s understandable that one might begin to feel like there’s no hope and no reason to go on, but let me assure you that there is. Oh, boy, is there ever! Indeed, you can always take solace in the fact that the monstrous, unimaginable piece of s*** that is me will stop existing fairly soon, and that I will continue to not exist for the remainder of your lifetime. Biologically speaking, I, the host of NBC’s The Apprentice and Celebrity Apprentice, have no more than two decades left to live. In fact, right now I’m just 10 years away from reaching the average lifespan of an American male.

How does that make you feel? Pretty good, right?

Sure, I’ll have a grand, opulent funeral that will be talked about and broadcast extensively, and all the news segment retrospectives on my life will probably be obnoxious to watch and listen to, and will very likely make you angry. But just think: all of those segments will end with a picture of my blustery, self-important face and the dates 1946–2031 printed beneath it. Or maybe 1946–2032. Or, who knows, maybe earlier! Even if you’re not feeling glum, I guarantee the recognition that my death is a concrete and rapidly approaching inevitability will make you feel even better.

And if my death in 15 or 20 years feels like it’s too far in the future to wash away your blues, you can take heart knowing that I’ll start to physically and mentally deteriorate well before then. Why, by 2020, I, a man who recently tried to extort the sitting president of the United States to release his college and passport records, might even begin to show signs of serious and unavoidable decline in mental and physical faculties, and doesn’t that just perk your spirits right up? Just imagine me shuffling along, hunched forward, with a noticeably shortened gait and perpetually haggard face. Heck, that might happen by the end of this decade! Of course there’s an outside chance I could make it another 25 years, but in a way, wouldn’t it be even more uplifting and enjoyable for everyone if I wasted away slowly and pitifully until I became a wizened and impossibly frail old relic—the pathetically impotent, papery husk of a once-powerful man?

Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s try a surefire pick-me-up that is certain to buoy your spirits right this very moment: let’s think of ways I could die! Perhaps I’ll suffer through a slow, excruciating kidney failure that leaves me in profound pain that the doctors just can’t treat. It could be a massive heart attack while I’m delivering a speech to investors, forcing me to clutch my chest in agony and stagger into the audience. It could be Alzheimer’s. Or I could even be diagnosed with a vicious form of cancer that at first appears to be responding well to chemotherapy but then takes a rapid and inescapable turn for the worse.

And of course there’s always the possibility that I’ll be declared brain-dead after a stroke and lie immobile on a hospital bed for a year or more before Melania finally works up the courage to pull the plug.

And if you need a real shot in the arm to get you laughing and smiling again, just remember that I could trip down a flight of stairs in my own ultra-plush luxury high-rise this very night and shatter my skull right there. Isn’t that great?

So there’s no reason to be wearing a frown, my friend. I will die, and I will die soon. And as long as you remember that, your days will be brighter. I promise.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#53New Post! Sep 19, 2015 @ 04:09:20
LEXINGTON, MA—Impatiently scanning store shelves while tersely repeating requests for an inventory of clothing and other items that would be taken along, local mother Susan Vernon, 51, channeled her escalating fears regarding her daughter leaving for college later this month into a fight about storage bins, sources reported Saturday.

The argument, which first flared up 10 minutes earlier in the lamps and lighting section of a local Target retail location before beginning in earnest in the home storage containers and organizers aisle, reportedly served as a convenient proxy for the elder Vernon’s growing anxieties about her daughter, Molly, 18, leaving home in just two short weeks to attend the University of Vermont.

susan remember when molly was a little baby, bring her home in her arms. ( twilite, I remember when you were a baby. your mother was holding as a baby in her arms. she only drop you few times on the ground. good news, you always land on your head. ) molly is moving 200 miles away. susan instead brandished a Room Essentials 41-quart storage bin at her child. susan was talking about storage bins. “Did you even bother to find out how much space you’ll have in your closets at the dorm? Should we get these ones, or the bigger size?”

susan add this, “Look, I’m not going to be there to do everything for you,” ( because susan couldn't find a storage bin that big enough or wide enough to fit inside her, so susan go to college, too. ) susan is now, get emotionally now. Look, I’m not going to be there to do everything for you,” Vernon added while still waving around the $7.99 plastic container, coming as close as she would to revealing her deep, unbearable sadness over soon being separated, both emotionally and physically, from the person she loved most in the world.

Overwhelmed by recollections of watching her daughter learn to back-dive off a floating dock during a summer trip to the Berkshires 11 years prior and her immense pride at having witnessed Molly play the role of Dorothy in a seventh-grade production of The Wizard Of Oz, sources said Vernon subconsciously prevented herself from bursting into tears by harshly chastising the rising freshman for initially selecting colored bins, insisting that Molly get clear bins so she could find what she was looking for without opening everything up and making a mess.

women get your tissues out for her is the hard part of the article. “Do these have locks? Shouldn’t they have locks?” Vernon said while inspecting a bin’s closure mechanism, her voice becoming clipped and severe as a result of her panic over soon not being able to fulfill her duty of protecting and consoling her beloved daughter during times of emotional distress. ( for god's sake, susan lock molly in her closet, sorry, I loss it for a moment. )

Vernon was then said to have escalated the argument into a bitter nine-minute-long back-and-forth over the relative durability and affordability of the available storage options, creating a more psychologically tolerable conduit for the unmanageable thoughts of her soon-to-be-diminished role in her daughter’s life, wherein Vernon—currently Molly’s closest confidant—would be relegated to fielding the occasional phone call or text message.

susan trying to put on her ' rough love act ' face on.“We’re only making this trip once, so if you want to just get a bunch of cheap garbage that’s going to fall apart in six months, that’s up to you.” this moment, susan remember memories of molly being a child with her skinned knees, nightmares, and the mean behavior of her peers. (when I was younger, my mom has fondest memories of me. dodging traffic on the highway. ) all of which Vernon had lovingly tended to. “Just don’t come crying to me.”

After Molly made the argument for a set of more tasteful wicker-and-cloth bins that she contended could potentially serve her beyond college when she got her first apartment—a concept so terrifying to Vernon that she was momentarily rendered incapable of rational thought—Vernon reportedly reached out to her daughter, looking as though she might embrace Molly and tell her how much she loved her, but instead grabbed the bins from her daughter’s hands and slammed them back onto the shelf.

“I can’t even deal with you right now,” Vernon said as she struggled to somehow preserve those last few precious moments with her daughter before their relationship changed forever. “At the rate we’re going, we won’t even get to the bedding aisle before the store closes.” ( omg, not getting to bedding asile, oh, please get to linen asile now! )

At press time, sources reported that Molly was channeling her overpowering fears about soon being on her own and without her mother’s unwavering support into petulantly sulking in the electronics section. that their story, mothers, I hope you were crying as loud of me, I am not even a woman, or a mother.


Mom’s Fears About Daughter Leaving For College Channeled Into Fight About Storage Bins


NEWS
August 11, 2015

Vol 51 Issue 32
Local · College · Family · Fear







LEXINGTON, MA—Impatiently scanning store shelves while tersely repeating requests for an inventory of clothing and other items that would be taken along, local mother Susan Vernon, 51, channeled her escalating fears regarding her daughter leaving for college later this month into a fight about storage bins, sources reported Saturday.

The argument, which first flared up 10 minutes earlier in the lamps and lighting section of a local Target retail location before beginning in earnest in the home storage containers and organizers aisle, reportedly served as a convenient proxy for the elder Vernon’s growing anxieties about her daughter, Molly, 18, leaving home in just two short weeks to attend the University of Vermont.

“Molly, we need to figure this out right now,” said a visibly agitated Vernon, who, unable to reconcile the memory of holding her beautiful newborn daughter in her arms for the first time with the fact that Molly would soon be moving more than 200 miles away, instead brandished a Room Essentials 41-quart storage bin at her child. “Did you even bother to find out how much space you’ll have in your closets at the dorm? Should we get these ones, or the bigger size?”

“Look, I’m not going to be there to do everything for you,” Vernon added while still waving around the $7.99 plastic container, coming as close as she would to revealing her deep, unbearable sadness over soon being separated, both emotionally and physically, from the person she loved most in the world.

Overwhelmed by recollections of watching her daughter learn to back-dive off a floating dock during a summer trip to the Berkshires 11 years prior and her immense pride at having witnessed Molly play the role of Dorothy in a seventh-grade production of The Wizard Of Oz, sources said Vernon subconsciously prevented herself from bursting into tears by harshly chastising the rising freshman for initially selecting colored bins, insisting that Molly get clear bins so she could find what she was looking for without opening everything up and making a mess.

“Do these have locks? Shouldn’t they have locks?” Vernon said while inspecting a bin’s closure mechanism, her voice becoming clipped and severe as a result of her panic over soon not being able to fulfill her duty of protecting and consoling her beloved daughter during times of emotional distress.

Vernon was then said to have escalated the argument into a bitter nine-minute-long back-and-forth over the relative durability and affordability of the available storage options, creating a more psychologically tolerable conduit for the unmanageable thoughts of her soon-to-be-diminished role in her daughter’s life, wherein Vernon—currently Molly’s closest confidant—would be relegated to fielding the occasional phone call or text message.

“We’re only making this trip once, so if you want to just get a bunch of cheap garbage that’s going to fall apart in six months, that’s up to you,” Vernon said in an effort to quell a hopelessness and despair she had never before experienced as she was struck by a deluge of memories of her daughter coming to her in tears due to skinned knees, nightmares, and the mean behavior of her peers, all of which Vernon had lovingly tended to. “Just don’t come crying to me.”

After Molly made the argument for a set of more tasteful wicker-and-cloth bins that she contended could potentially serve her beyond college when she got her first apartment—a concept so terrifying to Vernon that she was momentarily rendered incapable of rational thought—Vernon reportedly reached out to her daughter, looking as though she might embrace Molly and tell her how much she loved her, but instead grabbed the bins from her daughter’s hands and slammed them back onto the shelf.

“I can’t even deal with you right now,” Vernon said as she struggled to somehow preserve those last few precious moments with her daughter before their relationship changed forever. “At the rate we’re going, we won’t even get to the bedding aisle before the store closes.”

At press time, sources reported that Molly was channeling her overpowering fears about soon being on her own and without her mother’s unwavering support into petulantly sulking in the electronics section.







twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#54New Post! Sep 26, 2015 @ 03:36:35


look a sweet picture of a father and a son.


SARATOGA, NY—Completely embarrassing himself in front of dozens of visitors to the park as well as his fellow riders, pathetic 4-year-old Jeremy Tufts reportedly needed his father to stand right next to him on the merry-go-round platform for the entire duration of the ride Wednesday.

I remember when I was 6 years old, my parents and I went to merry-go-round in forest park. for an hour, I sat on a beach alone watching my parents riding the merry-go-round. you think my parents would care about me on the beach alone. I could been kipnapped, while they were horsing-around. so i watch my father stick his tongue at me and my mother gave me the finger, when their horses around. I was stupid enough wave at them when they round.

back to the picture, “It’s unbelievable that this kid can’t even handle just sitting there while the carousel spins around without having his goddamn dad at his side the whole time,” said onlooker Janet Henrich, watching with disgust as the pitiful youngster repeatedly looked over his shoulder to make sure his father was still nearby after the ride started in motion and the accompanying circus music began to play.

I am sorry, I thought the man his father in the picture. it like my father and my mother, my grandparents had paid my parents to take me to the park. my parents thought a good outing with me, taking to zoo and leaving there in ape house. take a monkey to replace me, they acclaim, ' if you see one monkey, you see them all. '

janet saying " Just look at this idiot. It’s not like he’s riding a roller coaster or anything—it’s just a plastic horse that slowly goes up and down a little bit. The kid in front of him is doing fine by himself. God, what a little wimp.” At press time, Christ, here come the waterworks.

ya! my brother, cheeta, both of us, we breastfeed by uncle king kong. my mother told me, if she beastfeed me, it would ruin her nails polishing them. the kid is luckly , my parents couldn't find someone take me the park. I stayed in my cage, and eat a lot of bananas.


4 yeard old on a merry-go-round
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#55New Post! Sep 26, 2015 @ 19:32:43
you know when I going fishing, something I catch a big fish, keep her. I might throw her back, eat her for dinner, or a marry her. look at this photo below.




this caught by my eye, you know the hunter will go hunting to shoot ducks out of the air. rick streeter had a different approach of hunting. here is rick's philosophy, “I’m only into hunting for the sport, so every time I shoot a duck, I make sure to toss him back into his home up in the air once I’m done.”

at least, rick doesn't marry the duck. I wish I was lucky before I married a fish.

in the photo, you see rick gently throwing the duck. if I had the duck, heav the sucker like long bomb in the football in the air. this how rick does after gently lobbing the downed duck skyward, stressing that the compassionate practice of shoot-and-release allowed him to enjoy the thrill of the hunt while ensuring that the waterfowl could return to its airborne life after a brief, temporary inconvenience. I would to that with the quack, mean the duck.

rick continues saying, “Sometimes, if I shoot a duck that’s really big or impressive, I’ll take a picture holding it up afterward, but that’s it—right after that, I throw it back up above me. I feel good knowing that I can just let it go into the air and it’ll go right back to flapping around with the rest of its kind.”

I probably do that, but I thinking I would do. I will bring baseball bat play a little baseball. I would throw the duck in the air, it fall down, and slam the duck for a homerun. it's lands near his people, that's fine. if it's lousy hit, I miss his people. I will said, " shh! "

in conclusion, Streeter noted, however, that even the most skilled hunter occasionally fails to release a duck in time, thereby causing the bird to sink down to the bottom of the sky. I think he mean the duck lands in quicksand.


hunter throw duck back into the air.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#56New Post! Oct 01, 2015 @ 01:35:36
here is my recent girlfriend, Thelma in the photo below. I love her , she hanging around me.




I was joking that not my girlfriend, that's my sister in law, Thelma. if think she is ugly, you see my brother. he was the centerfold of ' popular science ' under the article ' the missing link. when my parents were stun doubles for ' cheeta ' in the tarzan movies.

but, enough about my family tree, get it?

back to the article, TEMPE, AZ—Providing a definitive explanation as to how and why early humans evolved away from their closest primate relatives, researchers at the Arizona State University Institute of Human Origins presented findings Tuesday confirming that our species’ first ancestors began to climb down from trees to retrieve snacks they had dropped.

most of supermarkets and convenient stores doesn't allows animals in their stores, not if they have a mastercard. these cavemen had rough time going into supermarkets. they look like a dog. these cavemen could get fat slob rednecks. you put a cap on the people, they past as an ugly ' Clyde ' from ' every which way but loose '. these monkeys, our future man has all thumbs. they constantly go up and down trees to pick their snacks from the ground.

Anatomical evidence from the 6-million-year-old fossilized remains of Sahelanthropus peinaó—which was unearthed earlier this year in South Africa and is now believed to be the last common ancestor shared by chimpanzees and modern humans.

Suggests that the animal frequently descended from the jungle canopy to retrieve delicious morsels that it fumbled from its pudgy hands due to inattention, overeager eating, or a loosening grasp as it dozed off after a meal. According to scientists, it was this snack-retrieval instinct that gradually shaped the tree-dwelling hominid into the modern terrestrial Homo sapiens. what they are saying these apes were so lazy. do get exercise left their food on the ground, fatos are force to climb down to eat. fatos ate so much on the ground to try to climb back up the trees. omg! they never heard on going a diet back then.

“For decades, we’ve speculated as to what caused our ancestors to evolve beyond their arboreal kin, and now we know for certain that it was all due to these proto-humans dropping snacks from their grease-covered fingers and then having to climb down out of the trees to get them back,” said anthropologist Gerald Dupuis, who noted that the fossilized specimen’s advanced tooth wear suggests repeated snacking on various salty and sweet treats, while its bone structure showed it to be significantly overweight. now, this scientist is claiming these fatos has mcdonalds and kfc and other fast food restaurants around their trees.

“We can say with confidence that nearly every subsequent adaptation in our species’ history was a product of our earliest relatives holding something appetizing to eat, accidentally letting go of it, and then having to will themselves to go pick it up.” fatos hanging around on tree's limbs, just fart and belch. like one of my relatives, you throw a turkey drumstick under a tree, my relatives would fall out of the tree and eat stick.

“No other evolutionary leap has had such a profound effect on humankind’s development,” he added. yes, he said, we have first generation of white man's fato rednecks. now, I know where the redneck came from. the only reason, why rednecks left trees lived in trailer parks? because they became soo fat the trees keep fall over, they couldn't support their weights.

According to Dupuis, everything humans have accomplished as a species—from “colonizing every corner of the planet, to building the Colosseum, to walking on the surface of the moon”—can be traced back to that first human forebear “sweating and breathing heavily as it struggled down a tree trunk” to recover a snack that it considered too tasty to let just lie there on the forest floor. no crap, if I was heavier than a branch, I would be breath heavy go down a side of a tree. duh!

Before the emergence of the earliest humans, Dupuis said, if one of humankind’s primate ancestors had been spending a long afternoon snacking and a treat slipped from its hand, the animal was content to let it go and continue lying supine on a tree branch. However, he explained that at some point in the Miocene epoch, after dropping what scientists believe must have been a particularly delicious treat, one of the hominids realized that if it wished to continue snacking, it would have to come down from the tree, wander out onto the savanna, pick the morsel up, and put it back in its mouth—a behavior which, when first carried out, initiated the human lineage. other words, fato rednecks kept dropping twinkies and ding dongs to the ground.

Dupuis stated that this desire to keep snacking was the impetus for several other key adaptations, including the increased brain size and cognitive capabilities that are the hallmarks of Homo sapiens. According to the anthropologist, once our early relatives realized they couldn’t reach their dropped snacks simply by extending their arms, they began gradually developing the ability to form abstract thoughts—including planning, problem-solving, projecting into the future, and evaluating alternative options—as they grasped the notion that if they did not retrieve the snack, they could not continue to experience its delicious taste. it is call ' lazyiness '. dropie snackie on the ground, no sweetie! ' duh!

“It is believed that the earliest rudiments of language also came about at this same moment in evolutionary history, with hominid vocalizations first beginning to carry meaning in terms of simple, crude complaints at having just lost one’s grip on a particularly desirable piece of food,” Dupuis said. “These irritated, monosyllabic howls gradually became more sophisticated, developing into a vocabulary used to more fully express frustration at having dropped a snack, and eventually as a means of requesting a little help from other primates on lower branches in grabbing the treats that had slipped from their hands.”

mean fatos's stomach is growing, he howling. fato is too lazy to get up. he probably 100 pounds overweight. what a pig! he tell the other fatos underneath him to pick his food from the ground. was these fatos that below him, I would eat his twinkies from the ground, na,na!

“Humans today still make grunts very similar to those of our first ancestors when we drop our own snacks,” Dupuis added. it is call farting and beltching.

The hominids’ final shift to becoming an exclusively ground-dwelling species is said to have occurred roughly 5 million years ago when, bloated and logy after having finished the snacks they had retrieved, they looked to the trees, realized what a hassle it would be to climb all the way back up there, and opted instead to take a nap on the ground. I know why scientists can't call these apes were first ancestors of ' white trash '.


fatos lives in trees
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#57New Post! Oct 04, 2015 @ 23:57:37
NEW YORK—Saying that it is the perfect way to further increase the sport’s popularity, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced Monday that the league will soon begin holding a regular-season game deep within the Earth’s inner core.

that football to hell literally. how often does football fan wish their team to go hell, when they stinks? your team will go hell one way or other. something, a fan look forward to !

This game represents an opportunity to bring the great sport of football over 3,000 miles below Earth’s crust,” said Goodell, adding that the primetime event in the planet’s 10,800-degree, nickel-iron core will be scheduled as a regular-season matchup between two non-divisional opponents.

bet half -time more interesting, we probably watch ' janet Jackson's oop ' , the devil give her a hot poke delight. right, the devil make smores for the fans on the hot bleaches watching the games.

the primetime event is inner core, because the devil let his people off from shove coals his pits to keep hot there. the devil care for his people, sometimes off one day a week. the devil think is funny that football is on sunday, the devil laughing nobody in church on sundays.

“The league still has so much growth potential throughout the various interior layers of Earth, and a thrilling spectacle of world-class football will only continue to strengthen the NFL brand. And based on the research and various seismological studies that we’ve conducted over the past several years, we’re incredibly confident that the inner-core games will be a huge success.”

no limited spaces in hell, maybe the devil will let nba come in next spring. we can see the world series in hell next October. yaa!

At press time, sources confirmed that advance tickets for the forthcoming subterranean event have already sold out.


football in hell !
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#58New Post! Oct 09, 2015 @ 03:48:57
WASHINGTON—Discussing plans for a new space-exploration project that it said could also potentially be the most advanced weapon system in the U.S. military’s arsenal, NASA confirmed Thursday it was trying to get in on some of the nation’s defense spending by designing a torpedo-equipped orbital telescope.




Agency officials told reporters they hope the state-of-the-art space observatory, which would allow astronomers to study the furthest reaches of the observable universe and would also hold a payload of 16 torpedoes, catches the attention of the Defense Department and ultimately scores them a sweet piece of the military’s $610 billion annual budget.

nasa is there is battlerships in space, they need target practices. nasa is warning if there is any astroids, comets, metors, or metrorites are coming toward the earth. nasa said " your days are numbers, suckers! "


“This satellite has the ability to detect cosmic radiation from 13.5 billion years ago, greatly furthering our knowledge of how galaxies first formed after the Big Bang, and we installed some torpedo launchers on the side there as well,” said NASA senior project scientist Diane Everett, adding that the 21-ton telescope, which would allow scientists to study the formation of planetary systems capable of supporting life, could likely be outfitted with a few other types of weapons too, depending on what the military is looking for. “This would be an incredible scientific tool for learning about our universe’s origins. And once the Joint Chiefs get a look at the firepower on this thing, maybe they’ll give us a little taste of that 12-figure funding.”

“After all, it should be able to shoot things out of orbit, and it could probably even hit a bunch of targets on the ground, too,” Everett continued. “Who knows? They may want two or three of these things.”

nasa saying if the government doesn't paid the funds, nasa need. nasa will take out the sun. nasa will launch a sneak attack at night to wipe out the sun. nasa will shoot torpedos at the edge of the milky way, that way when the torpedoes hit the planets in the new universe that we exploring. they find to things. first, if the planet does explodes, nasa know there is no life. and, the second thing, if no planets that explodes, can support life. nasa waste too much money to on torpedos, to find out there is no life in another universes. JERKS!

Officials at NASA, whose share of the federal budget has decreased steadily over the past two decades, reportedly began discussing the idea of outfitting their next-generation orbital telescope with heavy weaponry such as machine guns and grenade launchers after looking over government records and discovering the space agency’s funding amounts to less than 3 percent of that received by the military. The scientists ultimately decided the best way to get some DoD green was to attach “a whole bunch of torpedos,” according to accounts.

e.t. decides to said ' hi! 'to the spaceship. e.t. just duck! nasa 's policy, ' we shoot first, then ask questions. we shoot the white out as many eyeballs, you have! '

Moreover, NASA sources stated several times that they’re completely open to placing penetrating or fragmentation warheads atop the torpedoes should that increase their chances of dipping their hands into the defense-spending honeypot.


nasa will have nuclear warheads in the torpedoes with telescope's lenses. nasa make if there is a bad e.t., that sucks going down!


“We want to emphasize that the prototype is very flexible, and with proper financial support, we could probably mount big cannons or something on each end of the near-infrared spectroscope—whatever they want, really,” said Everett, who estimated the massive sunshield required to keep the delicate scientific instruments operating in a thermally stable environment could probably fit “one of those big guns on a tank.” “As long as we get a piece of the Pentagon’s funding action, we can work with them to build a telescope that has laser targeting, heat-seaking missiles, or anything else, in addition to expanding our knowledge of the cosmos in ways we cannot yet imagine.”

nasa put massive sunshield on satellite, because we don't want the satellite get a sunburn.

Although this is the first weaponized research platform designed by NASA, Everett stressed that the cooperation does not need to end with this project. She estimated that with $30 billion, her agency could equip the next Mars rover with front-axle-mounted flamethrowers, a land-mine detector, and a “gigantic” mortar embedded into its frame that could blast targets many miles away.

nasa know there is life on mars. if there is water in the ice on
mars. nasa burn out from damn mars glaciers. nasa will use giant mortars, if mars don't have craters, make owns. nasa got keep ready if e,t. bring back a starship fleet. ' e.t. eat us !, said nasa.

“This could be the beginning of a bold new frontier, for NASA and for the military,” said Everett, who reportedly pressed her design team to devise ways to attach additional torpedos to the telescope after learning that many of the 2016 Republican presidential candidates’ budget proposals call for further increases in defense spending. “We only need the telescope for about 10 years, so we could even strap a thermonuclear device on board, and once its mission is complete, we could just make it fall back down to earth wherever they like.”

“We’re more than happy to do it, really,” she added. “If anyone in the Pentagon’s budgeting department is interested, really, just give us a call.”

nasa will support the republican party, is lose in 2016. nasa will sure the republicans, it will take out democrat's states of the picture. make sure America will always have a republican president of the united states always. even if there is only 5 states left of the united states.

nasa build a torpedo satellite
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#59New Post! Oct 09, 2015 @ 23:54:10
It’s not easy to decide when and how to have a discussion with children about sex, and many parents wonder how explicit they should be or where to establish boundaries. Here are The Onion’s tips for having “the talk” with your kids:

•Avoid being too vague or abstract when explaining sexual acts by using examples from your own life.

parents talking about your honeymoon. your kids wouldn't want to have sex until they are forty.

•Make sure your children are paying close attention to what you’re saying, as it will undoubtedly inform their future memoir.

parents show porn to your children, especially if you are in the them.

•Be an open book. Go ahead and tell them about all three sex positions.

your mother had headaches. in the morning, the afternoon, and the evening.

•Emphasize that sex is, above all, a consensual act. These are great lessons your child will carry with them until Beta Delta Tau initiation night.

when the child has to paid for it.

•If in doubt, let Coach Michelson handle it.

he get no action at home.

•Don’t be surprised if the same questions about sex come up again and again. Some children are just stupid.

parents- your children are too younger know about sex. parents shouldn't ask their children about sex. they should ask their priests those questions, not their children.

•Reassure your child that no matter what choices he or she makes, your love is unconditional, unlike everyone they will ever have sex with.

your parents love you, even you are the best strikeout king or queen in eastern coastline.


how talk about sex to your child?
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#60New Post! Oct 10, 2015 @ 01:03:27


this photo is part of a spooky horror story. here is the beginning of the great mystery. it is more shock than ' it's a great pumpkin mystery, you sap, charlie brown '.

IOWA CITY, IA—An alarming report published this week by researchers at the University of Iowa revealed that over 15,000 Americans vanish without a trace from “Fall Fest” hayride wagons every year.

holy grap, robin, another sap!

“Our data shows that, each autumn, between 1 and 2 percent of all Fall Fest attendees who climb up onto the back of straw-covered wagons and embark on tractor-pulled hayrides never return,” said the report’s lead author, Simon Shaw, noting that on the average hayride, at least two or three passengers will unexpectedly go missing and be lost forever.

they fell off the wagon, a great orange pumpkin eat them. this pumpkin trying eat two saps named Charlie brown and robin, the boy sap. why because nobody like Charlie brown . everybody love linus. what robin about him? the man 80 years has been sap think he get luck Julie newmar, she never that desperate.

“Last year alone, we catalogued over 8,000 cases in which passengers disappeared from the wagon before they even reached the pumpkin patch, leaving behind nothing but empty hay bales where they once sat and overturned cups of steaming hot apple cider.”

they all disapperances drink hot apple cinders. I could believe the disappearances for people that drink orange juice, that would be the pits. not apple cinder!

The report also discovered over 1,000 recorded instances of tractors emerging from cornfields without their drivers or any passengers at all, slowly trundling back toward the festival grounds with not a soul in sight.

I believe there are crop circles are involve, what they have to in a cornfield, duh! yea, we could blame scarecrows, because they don't crap in cornfields, they except moses to come to cornfield to separate the cornfields in half. scarecrows, new flash, moses been for dead for long time. move on with your life!

The report also discovered over 1,000 recorded instances of tractors emerging from cornfields without their drivers or any passengers at all, slowly trundling back toward the festival grounds with not a soul in sight.

maybe, they are not missing. they got bored by this town, and move to another state.


people vanish off hay ride
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