Cute kids

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home,
they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were
for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
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One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's
sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He
pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
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The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a
family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just
planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for
yourselves."
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Little Johnny asked his grandpa how old he was. Grandpa answered, "39
and holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old
would you be if you let go?"
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A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy
said loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
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During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying
until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went
over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered
her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see if he was alive."
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The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say
prayers before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
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"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked. I heard him tell Mommy," the little boy answered, "that he would climb the walls if you came to visit