miscellaneous jokes

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden’s funeral, .... a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles,leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too bloody late pal, I've already done the paperwork."

Jokes about sex are not funny. Cum on people.

or hands up.

S&M jokes can deliver a punch!

*smh*

I totally wish I could give out kudos.

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden’s funeral, .... a voice from inside screams:"I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles,leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: "Too bloody late pal, I've already done the paperwork."





the funny part is without the paperwork is done right. you have to stay alive, because bury you, just going be really b****.

S&M jokes can deliver a punch!

*smh*


or a spit in the eye.

When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, and then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He barks repeatedly. No answer. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again & again.No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, barks repeatedly at a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. Eventually, a small guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!" The owner responds, "Genius, my arse. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

What goes 99 bmph 99 bmph??

A centipede with a broken leg

That made me laugh way more than it should of XD

Jokes about sex are not funny. Cum on people.

i agree with joke are not funny, if you do with bad taste. with my sex jokes on my thread, i change some words around with a sex joke, come out the same way, without be soo nasty about it.

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. 'Good Grief, woman! Why aren't you wearing any skivvies?', Ole demanded.... 'Well' she said, 'you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.' The Swede immediately reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear..' Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she, too, is wearing no undies. 'Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no knickers Why not?' She replies, 'I can't afford any on the money you give me.' Patrick reaches into his pocket and says, 'For the sake of decency, here's a 20. Go and buy yourself some underwear"! Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. Flippin’ ‘eck, Aggie! Where ta friggin hell are yer drawers?' She too explains, 'You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.' The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, 'Well, fer the love 'o decency, here's a comb.... Tidy yerself up a bit