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Marcussextus On November 25, 2014




Adelaide, Australia
#1New Post! Nov 21, 2014 @ 09:07:43
A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I am so sorry Harry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.

I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that's no excuse.

I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't ever happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Bloody auto spell! I meant "Wi-Fi, not "wife" . . . ...
Marcussextus On November 25, 2014




Adelaide, Australia
#2New Post! Nov 21, 2014 @ 09:08:08
Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow

”Ooh”, said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century.


Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”


“Sticks”, said Paddy
matchstickman On March 04, 2020




, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Nov 21, 2014 @ 10:50:50
Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat,
Watching the front door of the brothel over the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman."Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi appears at
the door Knocks, and goes inside."Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar
and the rabbi When they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door."Ah, now dat's sad." says the third Irishman.
"One of the girls must have died.”
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#4New Post! Nov 22, 2014 @ 04:40:05
a friend of mine's wife ran off with my friend's best friend. to this day, my friend still missed him.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#5New Post! Nov 22, 2014 @ 04:53:13
there is a guy was walking across a street and a car hit him. the man flow 25 feet away from where the car hit him. the police was call. the police officer goes to the man, who got hit. the police officer see the man was ok, he found the man got his wind knock out of him, he was going to fine. the police officer still charge him for ' leaving scene of a crime '.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#6New Post! Nov 22, 2014 @ 04:59:19
a newspaper interviewer talking to an inmate in a prisioner in prision. the man was accused and conviced for killing his family. the interviewer ask the man, ' why did you killed your family? ' and the man said to interviwer, ' because they were home! '
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#7New Post! Nov 22, 2014 @ 05:17:17
two guys walking down the street, and from above, a bird drop his load on one the two guy's shoulders. other guy look at his friend and see the dump, and ask his friend. ' do want me to get something to wipe? ' and his friend look up at the bird, and said, ' no, he is miles away by now! '
matchstickman On March 04, 2020




, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Nov 24, 2014 @ 20:18:44
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?"She asked. "Hunting Flies"
He responded "Oh! Killed any?" She asked."Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied Intrigued, she asked."How can you tell them apart?" He replied "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone"
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