This time of year at my house we dip chocolates. Lots and lots of different delicious chocolates. Great time of year.

We don't have any.

I have not spent holidays with my family in years. Our traditions, my mom b****es that we did not spend enough on here. Complains about what we did get her. She tells me I am fat and could lose some weight.

She picks on me, by brother gets pissed and fights with my mom. His wife tells him to calm down. He shouts he will not calm down. Then my mom tells her to shut up. My other brother sits there all red and then gets all loud and tells everyone to shut the f*** up and our family is messed up and then he says he is moving away again or going back to where he lives. Then he calls me to apologize. He buys me a present for the outburts in addition to the presents for Christmas.

My mom starts to cry, putting on a show like she actually loves us and wonders why all her kids hate her. She wonders if my other brother will call but it's been almost 16 years since they last talked but I doubt he will call. Though each year he cashes the cheque my mom sends to his family at the holidays.

That is my family tradition.

My family gets drunk and makes fun of the neighbors christmas decorations.

but anytime my family gets together we get drunk and make fun of someone.

Ah... good times.

We go around and massacre everyone we see that we don't know and then go to a relatives and share all the prizes we won at a shooting gallery. That would be fun and i would be filthy stinking rich and laugh at Bill Gates and say "What now. I'm the riches mother [untyped for they are watching] in the world now!!!!! MWAHAHA MWAHAHAHA!" Then for Christmas we would hit Mexico. If only it were real that would make my year. *sigh* This is most unfortunete

My mom says I spend too much time alone and need to get out..and then they blast my singlehood, oh wait that is out now umm I guess a new tradition will start