... that people ask what happened to fellow members when they get banned or go missing? i understand why a mod is not allowed to answer, but just to ask the question gets people so pissy... what is the big deal? we just noticed somebody gone who we were used to interacting with, and wanted to bring it up...

even if nobody, not even regular members, are allowed to answer-- it's just acknowledging that a friend has gone and you noticed their absence... but people get so up in arms about it as though we are demanding answers...

also, are we really not even allowed to ask for how long the ban is? others have asked that question before, but i've only ever seen a response to ask them when they get back... which doesn't really make sense if you're wondering how long they'll be gone...

I just asked Kristy on Facebook

Mods cant give reasons because it is a confidentiality matter. Same as they cant say who gave kudos. If the site owner promises things are confidential to the users it cannot be broken.

The reason answers may be curt is because there is little can be said.

Part of a Moderators job is to take evasive action, to snuff out trouble before it really blows up.

So someone questioning quite innocently why a person is banned can lead a door open to a more aggressive person coming in and making trouble.

So by locking down such threads its merely taking evasive action.

I seen both sides of the coin so i do understand.

As far as other people getting pissy, i cant speak for them. I guess they either dont give a rats arse or seen it so many times it bores them.

I figure if it says banned under their username it's because they broke a TOS rule. But if they're just not coming on and/or profile deleted then they left and asking a mod as to why is a last resort because most of the time they don't know why themselves I would assume.

My opinion is if I wanted to know why someone got banned would be because I was snoopy as to the answer.

If I remember correctly, I've posted 2 threads asking about members leaving that I was accustomed to seeing on a regular basis and one journal to let people know that a member had left. I've been here almost 7 months all total. I'm concerned as I became a member of some forums in 2002 (some have been closed or deleted) and the group stayed together for long periods of time. Granted, a few of these forums were private so we didn't have people joining every few seconds and never posting again.

Sorry if this is off-topic, chisa.

Well simply put some people want to know because they are nosy, some people want gossip and want to read the thread where the person was banned and what for (usually quarantined by then) some people like to stir s*** and some people are genuinely asking where a person has gone but usually "Banned" explains it all.

On the other side a lot of people dont give a crap and consider making a thread about missing people as unnecessary and feel like pointing it out in such threads.

You cant control what people think.

If you are that good friends with them you would have their contact details and could ask them yourself.

I think of a ban as a jail sentence. You steal or break a rule you are sent to jail or banned for this matter.