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>> An Humourous narrative about Penguins!
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New Post! Nov 03, 2009 @ 19:21:29#271
KAMPA

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Penny ran up to Nigel, threw her flippers about his neck asnd kissed him so vigorously his Santy Claus cap fell off again! "I love you Nigel please don't be sad!" She said so beseechingly, that all of Nigel's anguish faded away! And he said. "OK SURE!"
" I want to go have some drinks!" "Will you join me?" "OF COURSE I WILL YOU OLD SILLY!"




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
Edited: November 03, 2009 @ 19:22
New Post! Nov 03, 2009 @ 19:24:43#272
49thbrat

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Penelope is better for him!




Look at that brat go!
On November 17, 2009
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 13:18:02#273
KAMPA

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Penelope and Nigel's divorce was amicable, as I am sure you will recall Penelope was heiress to the OLD PENGUIN DISTILLERS LTD fortune! So there was none of the anguish and dissension over the division of assets,that beset the dissolution of most other broken marriages. Nigel was sad at first especially about losing custody of Baby Nigel III!
But Penny's love made it much better, even though she had been a facet of Sir Nils' plot to get Penelope away from Nigel. Nigel was convinced that Penny did not conspire knowingly in that plot. Nige was still the world's wealthiest penguin. Nige immediately asked Penny if she would be his wife. "Of course I will you old silly!" So they were united in matrimony. Penny moved into Niges igloo mansion. Now Nigel could see the beauty of Penny every day, for the rest of his life. He thought.




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 13:29:16#274
KAMPA

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Soon the couple began to settle into a rut. Nigel would go to the office at NIGEPENG LTD every day,but he now had a new secretary without the beauty and allure of Penny. In fact this new secretary was downright homely,she was overweight,and her personality lacked the effervescence of Penny's! She did her work efficiently,but Nige hated seeing her waddling about the office.




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 13:37:38#275
KAMPA

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Not only that she presented a disagreeable odor, she smelled like spoiled fish most days. Even after Nigel presented her with expensive perfumes at Penguinmas!
Finally Nige was spending less and less time at work and more time at home with Penny. The business began to suffer,not so much that it went bankrupt, but still it was losing money (frozen fish type )!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
Edited: November 08, 2009 @ 14:13
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 13:43:14#276
KAMPA

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Nigel presented Penny with a luxurious red velvet and ermine santy claus cap,much nicer than his own! This made the couple feel closer than ever. And penny was already very very beautiful but the santy claus cap made her totally gorgeous!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 17:22:11#277
KAMPA

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Unfortunately it was about this time that the prophecies of Nostradumass began coming true! The Antarctic ice began a rapid melt down,so fast it was, that all of the penguins began to panic. They were afraid it would melt completely before they had a chance to find a new place to live. Some penguins tried to profit from the disaster that was looming,by selling flood insurance,rubber boats etc. But Nigel was not avaricious to the extent that he could profit from others misfortunes. He began making phone calls trying to find zoos for his penguin friends to live in if worse came to worse. But zoos are run by humans and they are avaricious,every one Nige called wanted large amounts of human money to allow only a few penguins to go to their zoos. So Nigel decided to build a zoo of his own. He called diferent countries in the southern hemisphere,but none were suitable for the penguin masses. Finally Nigel called Argentina and Chile the Argentinians were willing to allow Nigel to build in Tierra del Fuego,for nominal yearly rents,and they would accept frozen fish! But the Chileans held out for more!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
Edited: November 06, 2009 @ 17:32
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 17:41:35#278
KAMPA

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Nigel was nonplussed by Chilean intransigence,Nigel then contacted the United Nations and begged the nations of the world to help save the penguin race,by interceding with the Chilean Government to allow Nigel to build his refuge for the penguins. At last he was sucsessful and the Chileans greenlighted the project for only a small increment more than Argentina had demanded. Immediately Nigel commenced building the best penguin zoo the world had ever seen!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 06, 2009 @ 17:54:03#279
KAMPA

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But the ice at home was melting so quickly,that Nige had scarcely finished construction when it vanished completely.
All of the penguins swam for their lives toward Tierra del Fuego,most arrived safely but some where eaten by killer whales,great white sharks and leopard seals before they could make shore! Among those were Sir Nils and Penelope,but Baby Nigel survived! This was heart breaking news about Penelope,for he still cared for her very much! Some good samaritan penguins rescued baby Nigel and brought him to Nige and Penny's igloo. The very last bit of ice remaining was all the three could get to Tierra del Fuego upon. They left in such great haste that none were able to secure their santy claus caps! There the three penguins were stranded on a small piece of ice in the midst of ravenous peguin eating carnivorous, beasts!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
Edited: November 07, 2009 @ 12:41
New Post! Nov 07, 2009 @ 12:51:52#280
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Nigels zoo-refuge was an immediate sucsess,humans love seeing penguins, they thronged to the zoo paid their admissions in frozen fish,and devoured snack foods sold by NIGEPENG LTD. Nigel was on his way back to being the worlds wealthiest penguin once more. The Penguin Zoo was becoming more like a circus than a zoo,this caused evermore frozen fish to roll in. Penguins were trained as acrobats,sea lion riders,clowns and ice skaters! Before long there were so many humans queing up to see the shows some had to be turned away.




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 07, 2009 @ 13:04:01#281
KAMPA

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But Puffin spies were lurking about the peripheries of NIGEL LAND, this was the name Penny thought of to call this new enterprise of Nige's. The puffins have a reputation of being as silly as penguins, but are much sneakier! Nigel was compelled to hire human security forces to guard the perimiters of NIGEL LAND, humans are reticent to work for frozen fish,so Nigel had to pay them in human currencies. Baffin Island began a puffin copy of NIGEL LAND, humans in the northern hemisphere began flocking to this PUFFIN LAND! And the human security at Nigel land discovered through interogation (water boarding) puffin spies, that the puffins planed to sieze NIGEL LAND militarily.




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
Edited: November 07, 2009 @ 13:06
New Post! Nov 07, 2009 @ 14:11:01#282
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The first action in this new conflict was air asault by pelicans. They flew 1,000 sorties a day for a week,eating vast quantities of frozen fish. This went on until Nige had a huge bank vault with freezing capabilities installed! That was enough to stop the pelican threat,but Nige knew that it was only the begining of the puffin's asault on NIGEL LAND!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 08, 2009 @ 14:26:49#283
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The puffin menace persisted,puffins began overflying NIGEL LAND, dropping their eggs on the heads of the human visitors! That caused fewer humans to visit,fearing being splatted and spattered by puffin eggs. Dropped from great heights some of the visitors,were rendered unconcious! Thus with diminishing revenues Nigel was forced to hire more humans to provide emergency medical services>




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 10, 2009 @ 12:52:28#284
KAMPA

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Nigel outfitted his human security teams with the latest automatic weapons (made in the USA). He instructed the humans to fire on every puffin or pelican,they saw fly overhead,this was effective as far as killing enemy birds was concerned, but dead birds falling out of the sky onto humans,is never popular! As a consequence fewer and fewer humans were coming to NIGEL LAND,and revenues fell accordingly! Since penguins cannot fly, Nige decided he would open an aircraft factory,within the perimeters of NIGEL LAND,and build a new deadly aircraft to counter the puffin-pelican menace! These would be remotely operated,and equipped with remotely guided missles!
Since both Werner von Penguin and Sir Nils Olav Penguinsson were both dead, Nigel ordered drone aircraft from Lockheed!
Nigel had to travel to California to make the deal,Nige asked Penny to come along. To which she replied "OK SURE you old silly!"




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
New Post! Nov 10, 2009 @ 13:10:11#285
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Arriving in Southern California,a place neither Nigel or Penny had ever been. The two decided to take a couple of days to see the sights of Los Angeles. It was at Grauman's Chinese Theater that a motion picture producer discovered Penny, he was overwhelmed by her beauty,just as Nigel had been. The producer was the only penguin working in the industry, films about penguins had become very, very lucrative and very, very popular! But up to that time there were no penguin actors,all the penguins were computer generated images. The producer who's name is Saul Pengenstein, arranged for an audition for Penny,at Paramount!




"Stick close to your desks and never go to sea. And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee!" W.S. Gilbert
2 minutes ago
Edited: November 12, 2009 @ 13:01
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