let me start by saying that i am in no way advising people against seeking professional help for their problems- be that therapy, meds, or both... but many times people are seeking for advice or direction but are unwilling to go that route, for whatever reason... ive been there, and i understand how unbelievabley agonizing it is to want some ideas on how to push though, and to only get people telling you to seek professional help... its not bad advice, but its not always what people need to hear... so this is for those people-- these are some ideas that may help you to make it through your days, one at a time, until you are ready for counseling, or until you look back one day and realize that its no longer as much of a struggle just to get through a day...
strength of will-- this is first... because when it is hell to so much as wake up and get out of bed, everything suggested is going to take force... you cant force yourself to get better, but you can force yourself to wake up, force yourself to move, to brush your teeth, to get dressed... you are going to have to keep forcing yourself through all these things or everything will only get worse... you can do it though, and you will feel better for it... focus on your willpower, focus on developing it... make these things continue to being routine... and then focus that will to continue on, force yourself to get to where you want to be, to slowly crawl your way out of your pits...
making lists... one of the worst parts of these feelings is not knowing what to do with yourself- that restlessness is enough to make a person crazy, and to think about what to do once that sets in is damned near impossible... so try making lists of what you want to accomplish for the day... think about it the night before or in the morning, whatever works for you-- and actually write them out and keep them with you throughout the day, crossing things off as you accomplish them... they dont have to be any remarkable goals- just send out this bill, make this appointment, call this person... list out all the little things you need to get done to keep the edges of your life neat and moving forward, to keep your mind organized... separate it out- have one section for things that you need to get done, and one section for other goals that you would like to accomplish... just do them one day at a time-- dont worry about next week, or next month... just the one day...
stay active... this is where that will is going to be needed at first, just a little bit to get you started... you need an activity, something to get those endorphins flowing and to tire out your muscles... grab some headphones and go on a hiking trail, biking, rollerblading, to the gym, kayaking... pick something out, add it to your list for the day, and force yourself out there to do it... the hardest part will be initiating the activity, but make yourself get started-- once you get started, it will be easier to keep going... it will give you time to think, but not so deeply and aimlessly- and you will feel just a little bit better afterwards... make it a frequent thing, whichever activity you choose... force yourself to start each time, and eventually it will become routine and may help you through your days...
eat right... it wont specifically help anything, but water, fruits/veggies, healthy food... junk food will leave you feeling more drained, so a good diet with lots of energy is a good idea...
dont isolate... it may take more of you forcing yourself, but thats why i put that first... you are going to have to be good at forcing yourself to do things... force yourself to go out with your friends, whether you feel like it or not... force yourself to do things you always enjoyed with them... force yourself to laugh, convince yourself youre having a good time... you may notice part-way into the night that its not so hard to pretend, you may find a little relief in being surrounded by the people you love... but even if you dont at first, dont allow yourself to give up on these things, or these people...
projects... look around the place you live... pick out something small you can see that could use fixing, or redecorating... find some small improvement you can do in your home and make it better... then find another... you will see these things every day, and it will be better than seeing the imperfection that dulled your eyes before...
journaling/art... this has the potential to help you vent, but be careful with it-- dont allow it to become a wallowing pit to focus on all your darkness in... set guidelines for yourself in whatever kind of art inspires you-- for example, dont let yourself write about only the crap of your day and your life; vent it out all you want, but then finish up with one tiny good thing that happened or that you did... get all your feelings out, but then draw out something bright into your art as well...
drinking/drugs... dont do them, dont abuse them... they dont help... you will be able to escape reality for a bit, but then once it comes back it will be all the harder to look at... you will be just fine without them... (if you have an addiction problem, then you may have to seek medical attention-- there is nothing i know to be helpful with that, sorry)
extreme sports... adreniline rushes always feel good... and you wont be thinking about anything thats wrong when youre terrified... if youre into that sort of thing, then definately get out there and do it... it will help for at least one of those days...
good friends... keep yourself in good company... dont focus all of your despair onto another person, but talk to them about it, listen to their responses... have a dialogue about whats going on for you, and then move on to another topic... dont keep them in the dark about how you are feeling, but dont dwell on yourself the entire time... allow the conversation to flow, and allow yourself to get as into other conversation topics equally...
meditation... ive made another better thread about this, but closing your eyes and focusing on your breathing for a time can be incredibley soothing... however you are able to let the energy and crap thoughts flow out through your fingers and toes, and focus only on the slow, steady in and out of your breaths definately wont hurt things...
okay... well, this isnt all, but this post is getting really long now so im going to stop... the bottom line is to force your life to continue moving forward-- wake up every morning and force yourself to get up and work your way through that list... dont worry about tommorrow, dont think too much about next month or next year, dont consider how difficult it will be to do these things every day... there is only this ONE DAY to worry about, and to get through... and then when the day is done, take a minute to think about all the things you accomplished... think about how you succeeded in pushing through that day, and be proud of it...
remember, just one day at a time... maybe these things will be of help, maybe not... but they are worth considering... perhaps they will help you make it through your days, one at a time... perhaps one day you will wake up and realize that its not so hard to wake up anymore... and again, im not advising against therapy-- these are just tips on getting through your days, one at a time... if you are willing to seek help, then seek it... if you dont know where to go, simpley walk into the er and tell them that you need help-- they will refer to somewhere you can get it... and there are some knowledgable people on this site that can suggest where to get that help as well... this is just for those that need to hear something else...
and now im just rambling, so im going to stop... just remember one more thing-- there isnt one single thing is this entire universe that is permanent... every single things will pass, and whatever crap you have going in your life will as well... it is a proven certainty, and one of the greatest things about life that it is always, always, constantly changing- even if you dont feel those changes happening...
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Jul 20, 2009 @ 04:11:01
