Why Satan is Awesome

Snooki is having a baby.

Dear God! It'l be half-gremlin and half Oompa Loompa.

Satan's baby.

Ugh! So Snooki's going to give birth to Satan's daughter? Narsty!

She's as dumb as a rock, WHY would Satan want her to have his baby???!!!!

Woohoo...featured thread.

Did you make a deal with the Devil?

We all ridicule the mother as a moron and assume that her baby will also be born as such, meanwhile the evil spawn bursts out of her chest as in the movie Alien and we're all dead. It's the perfect misdirection.

Satan is awesome because he is half goat. Goats can live anywhere and eat anything and they have weird sideways eyes and beards, even the females.

and they piss on you.

(yes, a goat once pisssed on me through a fence)

Evidence that all goats are related to his darkness.

I hope it wasnt some weird ritual I wasnt aware of...although it could explain a LOT too

yeah, you belong to that goat now. Does he wait outside your work pretending to be on the phone to someone? Do you have a goat stalker?

No...unless he's disguised as a banana? and he's stalking everyone here?

Wait, bananas dont have stalks...well they do....but not big ones.

you are being followed by a banana? Oh man, I would love to hear that call to the cops.

yeah...they wouldnt care...they would tell me to "kick it in the nuts" and "split"


...Sorry.

Little secret? Where I live is the home of the Big Banana...and everything here is named "bananacoast...." whatever. We even have the official "Banana twins" who wear bright yellow and appear on TV