|(another one of my rant sessions in order to make myself feel better so I won't blow up on the people that cause me so much stress in the first place.)|
I think I've got it figured out. At least a little bit.
I can't trust my family, and they have no idea why.
When I deployed, I only had less than a week to prepare for leaving, I was a "lag", or late arrival, so I got little notice that I needed to be prepared to move out. I was never even considered needed until a girl got pregnant.
I gave my mother access to my accounts to ensure no bill would go unpaid. Even added her onto my 2nd bank account so I can transfer money to the account that she has access to.
I moved my sister into my apartment so she could
A)Get away from her abusive husband.
B)Give my niece a new start at a new school in a new city, since she was getting picked on at her old school because of her parents' situation.
C)Take care of my two cats for me
D)Watch my stuff for me while I'm gone and send me my mail. (C&D being the only two things I asked of her as compensation for the rent and utilities, which I paid for, along with her cell phone so she could contact me if something went wrong.)
So the mail, finances, personal items, etc were all taken care of by this arrangement, which both of them agreed to.
Well, all of the trouble started when I was having a hard time paying the outrageous cell phone bills and electricity bills my sister kept racking up. Around this time is when I put my full check into the bank my mom had access to (along with the check right before it, so it was a full months worth of pay) to which she paid the rent, and then she went ahead and spent the rest of it all on misc stuff, like at convenience stores or fast food joints, plus movie tickets and other goodies. She actually dropped my bank account into the negative and then had the audacity to tell me that she forgot to send a check out to the power company. The thing that really got me, is I had a full two weeks before my next paycheck came in, I still have a bill unpaid, and now I have no money for food or personal hygiene items for myself out here.
Around this time, I asked my sister to try to look for work because I was having a hard time paying for everything. She called me selfish, saying that she was only there because she was taking care of my cats and things and that she doesn't need to get a job because that wasn't part of our agreement.
So I went off on her, naturally, saying I didn't need to pay for anything at all, that I can just send them a copy of my orders and everything will be canceled, my friends can take my cats for me, and I don't have to do anything nice for her at all.-- And NATURALLY, she didn't take that one very well, at all, either, telling me that I was causing my niece to become homeless and that she'll sell my stuff and get rid of everything I own.
I told her she had three months to find another place to live. That as soon as the lease was up, I'm done, and if her daughter becomes homeless because of that, I'd be happy to take care of her. Her and her alone.
So, I kept paying, without any help. I was struggling to save up for my (mandatory) R&R, but at least now I was smart enough to only put as much money was needed for rent in the bank account mom has access to.
So things kept going (kinda) smoothly. I was getting picked on in my unit for not getting mail of any kind. (I don't know if anyone who hasn't been in this situation before could understand, but it sucks a** going to the mail room everyday and seeing a line of people waiting to get their mail, and you don't have anything... Then hear the little comments like 'aww, no one loves her' and s*** like that as you walk away... It f***in' sucks, pardon my language.) So Mom and I got into a fight over that... I just wanted something from home, something that showed that they cared, and she was arguing that she didn't have the time, and that I was being selfish. I told her I didn't expect her to take a week off from work to mail a package... Just a simple letter or a few pictures would do.. But I guess she didn't get it... Well all up until I stopped talking to her, then she decided she could find the time for a care package, not that I believe she actually cared about what goes into it.
So, that one was smoothed out and everything was going fine up until my R&R, which happened to correspond with the last few weeks my sister had left in my apartment. I was so hurt by everything that had happened before that I decided to not go home, that maybe a nice relaxing vacation on the beach was exactly what I needed to clear my head. So I ask my dad to move my stuff out of the apartment and into my storage unit, so I didn't have to worry about my sister trashing it all. He agreed and I went on R&R in Hawaii to unwind and relax.
I didn't know anything bad had happened until two weeks after I got back... My sister apparently decided since I wasn't paying out the a** for her anymore, that she was going to let my two cats go free in the city. I didn't receive anything but a facebook message two weeks after they were released onto the streets. Keep in mind that I was still paying for her phone and also a cell phone for me here in Afghanistan so we could keep in contact. I also had a cell phone turned on back in the states (when Iwas on R&R) so there was never a time to where my family didn't have any direct contact with me. Not only did my sister not tell me my cats were gone, but neither did my Mom or Dad. After the facebook message, I was heartbroken, crying to some of my closest friends here.
One guy decided to call his friend, who was in the area (we all come from the same few towns really) and asked her to look. She, in return, gave me the link to petharbor.com saying that's all she can think of doing since it had been so long. So I searched for about ten minutes. It took me about five minutes for each cat. If my family really cared about them, I fully believe they would have found them way before I was even notified, because the site had pictures and everything. There was no mistaking that those were my two baby girls and that they had been in a pound locked up in tiny cages for two whole weeks.
So, I was pissed at my family again. I trusted my sister with everything I own and the only children I'm ready for (the cats lol) and she throws out everything.
I tell her she's disappointed me beyond belief, and since she wasn't going to consider to call me in a reasonable amount of time when something happens (so I can fix it on my own HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD) then I wasn't going to pay for her cell phone anymore.
So she stopped talking to me, deleted me off her facebook friends list, and I have no idea what's going on with any of my stuff.
My mom, during all of this, was calling me selfish for ragging on my sister, since she was having a hard time because she went back to her abusive husband again, and saying I should have kept paying for everything for her because she really did try to take care of my cats (or something like that...)
The reason why I stopped listening at this point was because my vet took a look at my cats right after they were adopted by my friends back home (that's what I had done, my best friend went and picked them up, and since it'd been so long, she had to adopt them. She's taking care of them now far away from my family) and determined that both of them were suffering from malnutrition and fleas (like BAD-eaten-alive-been-there-for-awhile fleas). Case and point, my kitten was six pounds when I left six months ago. She should be almost at a full cats weight now... When the vet weighed her, she was five pounds. She had lost a pound in six months during her peak growing time.
Anyway, so now I'm worried about my stuff, including a 3k engagement ring and all of the small appliances I bought to start my bakery with when I get home (about 1k worth actually.)
You'd think that would be all I can handle right? I think I've lost all my belongings and I almost lost my two baby girls, and now I really am in the mindset that my family is full of worthless backstabbers that are selfish and don't give a s*** about me. Should be enough for anyone to be depressed about, right?
Well two nights ago I found out that my mom DIDN'T pay the last month's rent. Even though the money was there. She didn't take care of anything, so the apartment complex wrote it off, and now I have a massive bill in collections. This upsets me, because now I won't be able to rent ANYTHING when I get home. I'll be lucky to be accepted by a renters company in the slums, let alone in a good neighborhood.
This brought up another problem (I know, never-ending, right?) Which was, I haven't been sent one piece of mail in all of the six months that I've been here. Not one piece of junk mail or bill or nothing... Mind you, I've been asking and arguing to get this mail from the very first month I was here.
So I not only have a ginormous bill in collections, but it's SOMEWHERE, and so I don't have any information to pay it.
So, I ask my parents last night to please send me my mail. I told them that I know mom didn't pay the rent, and that I need the collections notice in order to take care of it here.
I was even nice about it, no arguing and nice and calmly. They proceeded to tell me that they didn't have any mail, nor did my sister have any of my mail in the same calm manor that I had asked.
So I'm pissed, right, because in SIX MONTHS, I don't have ONE piece of mail? Not one bill that was coming regularly? Not one piece of junk mail which I was getting by the heaps back home?
If they didn't receive anything for me, I should have been notified... If they threw it all away, that's a felony. Not only did they screw me over and over before, but now they're screwing me so I can't even fix the screw ups that they screwed me with in the first place.
I had a breakdown at work, here in my "home" and everything. It's too much for me, really. I mean, not only is everything I had, gone (except for my pets, tyvm) but now I can't even rebuild my life when I get home. I can't rent an apartment in order to start over (again) and I'm going to be paying on these mistakes that they racked up for a very long time. I'm so in debt because of all of the collection fees and lost bills and I'm having a hard time dealing with all of that and loosing my family also.
I know I can't go home to them. I know I'll end up punching each one of them in the face out of anger for being such selfish s***heads.
I no longer am paying for anything of my sisters, but I still got this bill I can't pay because I don't know which collection agency or any info about it.
At the very beginning of all of this, I said I think I've figured it out... Let me explain:
I think I'm going to have to take my sister to small claims court for the appliances. The ring is insured, s I can claim lost/stolen and it's covered.
Cats are safe, so no worries there.
No more money will go into the account that mom has access to. Every penny now has to be saved up and stored safely away from them to pay my debt when I go home. So I guess I can stop worrying about my finances for now.
I'm going to have to stay with friends when I get home until I can finally find an apartment complex that will either hear me out on my story or that will accept me at all. So I won't have to see my family.
And that's as far as I've gotten, really. I don't know about everything else, I hope it'll just all fall into place.
I just can't believe that I can't trust a single one of them, or that they screwed me over so badly while I'm off at war.
f***in' family sucks!